Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Things that annoy me (part 23)

A couple of things have bugged me lately, truly annoyed me in fact. I'm hoping, through the power of bloggery, to calm my disturbed mind.

1. Shops with odd numbers of aisles.

Yeah, might seem like a small problem, but it bugs the pants off me. You go up an aisle, down an aisle, then up and hey presto, you're stuck at the far end of the store and the only way to get to the tills is past an already looked at aisle. I don't want to go down it twice, I've already been there and shoe leather ain't free, you know. It's not just the walking though, occasionally you'll see whole families of confused people at the top of the last aisle. They stand there, wondering which way to turn, stuck in some nightmareish, odd-numbered hell. And, what about those poor souls whose OCD is far worse than mine? Imagine having to visit each aisle in multiples of 2,3 or 4 if one round trip won't do? It'll be like being stuck in some bizarre Professor Laytonesque style puzzle. So come on shops of the world, keep it even for all our sakes.

2. Good Food

You see it in pubs up and down the land. Good Food Served Here. Really? Does that mean you can expect well behaved food or food served to an acceptable standard? Ever seen a sign that said Mediocre Food Served Here? Naughty Food Served Here? Chef Can't Be Arsed Today Food? What about Chef had dreams of world domination but three kids, two dogs and a mortgage means he's now working in some back street pub at the age of 40 food? Seems to me, signwriters are being paid by the word and have gone for the word Good to bump their wages up.

3. Inappropriate music used in adverts.

There's been a whole swathe of this recently. Most seem to be songs from my youth so I guess some ad exec with a fairly decent taste in music is either playing jokes, or today's music is so bad that we've reverted to some time warp. The Skids - Into The Valley was recently used as a Halford's ad for what seemed like some kid's journeys through life. Well, that song's actually about the recruitment of youths into the army and premature death in Northern Ireland. What about British Airways as well? Using London Calling with some plane driving down a street in a pre-olympic glorious festival of London. Considering the song is about nuclear accidents, the Thames flooding and police brutality in the 70's it is really an excellent choice to advertise London, isn't it.

5. Numbered lists that miss out numbers.

Enough said.


Kym Hamer said...

I had never thought about the aisle numbering before - now it's going to really shit me...

Jaxbee said...

Charlie, I am in awe, you clearly never forget anything on your list, otherwise you'd have to go back and would have no idea how many aisles there were or where you were going to end up. (Just think of the excitement you're missing out on....) If it helps, my husband works for a *well-known-supermarket* so I'll get him to even them all up, ok?

'Good Food' reminded me of baby signs for the back of cars - Drive Safely, Baby on Board! they order. Thank goodness they've reminded me to drive much more safely than I would if there were a child in the back of the car in front, or, god forbid, an old person as their survival is clearly MUCH less important. And yes, I have children and yes, I never, ever had one of these signs.
Ah, feel better now.

Charlie Wade said...


Glad to have shared that one with you.

Charlie Wade said...

I'm still not sure if odd numbers of aisles are a supermarket conspiracy or not. I guess you'll find out later...

I know what you mean about car stickers, I've lost count of the number of times I was intending to crash into someone but decided not to at the last minute as they had a "Baby on board"

Jaxbee said...

Just read your last comment ha ha! Spat out my tea when I laughed, though, unfortunately.

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